Why Steampunk is so important to me

Yesterday was International Steampunk Day. I kind of forgot about it, but then again. How many steamer are aware it exists at all? Anyway, it’s is a great moment to reflect on my odd relationship with Steampunk. I already talked about this a year back, but it was in Dutch and… Well, I realized about a week ago were I want to go with my professional carrier. But let’s start at the beginning.

During my youth I was one of those people that didn’t fit in. I was slow, and still am, to conform to feds, wasn’t interested in sports, current events or the future and I sure as hell didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I was interested in about everything, from fiction to science, but never discovered my true passion. This becomes a problem when your trapped in an educational system that makes you choose a carrier before you even now what you want to do.
So imagine this. A young boy with no true passion, no clue and inability to connect to his fellow students. And then he also turned out to have a learning disability akin to dyslexia, but it couldn’t be diagnosed so no real attention was paid to it. I just had to perform better.
Learning theory wasn’t the problem, I liked it actually. Logic weren’t the problem either. I was one of the top scoring students a matter affect. But calculations and spelling were a mayor issue and the reason why wasn’t uncovered when I was about thirty years old.

So my education was a bit of a mess. I tried becoming a programmer, tried becoming a history teacher, twice, but ended up as a history bachelor with no clue what I wanted to do. But these were the year university students could become anything. An idea I found really appealing: ‘My professional future is kind of like a box of chocolates.’
However, than 2008 happened. When I got out of university there were no jobs anywhere. I had to little experience and was to highly educated for the few jobs available.  So after all that struggling, turning a papers filled with spelling errors because, as it turns out, my brain fills in missing letters and words  by itself, I got nowhere very slowly. And with the current jobculture, you won’t get hired without the proper piece of paper.
Thanks to a government program and the wonderful support of my parents I got the opportunity to acquire one of those pieces of paper and actually I got to work for a couple of years and finally buy my current home.

Now, what does all of this have to do with Steampunk? Actually, I think many of you already know. A geek with problems fitting in, a bit socially awkward and not knowing what to do with his or her future. Nobody recognizes this scenario right?

I had a lot of passions as a kid. Many of them involved collecting, armies and historical objects. But there was no rime or reason to it. One of my collections were MacDonald’s toys that came with the happy meals. I could build entire cities out of the cardboards boxes; those could be transforms into houses, and the like, back in those days. Does anyone remember those. Why did they stop doing that? Other collections were toy armies, Lego’s, dinosaurs and printing plates from old electronics; foreshadowing I suppose.
My first real hobby was Magic the Gathering. A few years later Warhammer. I actually won painting competitions for those (I still have the prizes and miniatures), but I rarely played the game. I thought of myself of a sore loser at the time.
 It was an odd period for me because for the first time I found a place were I belonged. Were I felt save and got praised for my skills. I wasn’t used to that.

When I was eighteen I started with fourteenth century reenactment with the then unknown Compagny of Cranenburgh (first it was called, The Soldeniers). These days the group is a staple of Dutch late medieval reenactment and it’s chairman Menno Brouwers has his own eventsbureau ‘Cranenburgh Events’. I am honored to have been there wen it started, for I still believe it is something really special. Within this group I literally rising through the ranks. Becoming both the second in command and also taking place on the board for a couple of years. Imagine, a socially akward boy forced in a position of authority with genuine responsibilities on safety, leadership and finances. Uncomfortable to say the least, but responsibilities once acquired also hard to let go. For fourteen years this was a place were I belonged, more then with Warhammer or previous hobbies. But something in me already realized I had to move on, and age thirty-one, I did.

Last Exile (2003)

Let’s go back a decennia. I think I might have been eighteen. I already heard of Steampunk somewhere, from the GURPS Steampunk rpg-book. But that wasn’t what inflamed my future passion. It was a cover from a club magazine which depicted a fantasy elf with a futuristic device on her belt. In hindsight it might have been from the cyberpunk rpg Shadowrun called (still one of my favorite settings), but I loved the anachronistic elements.
My real passion for steampunk came through Japanese anime. I loved series like Trigun, Escaflowne ands other that combine the old and the new. I started identifying it with Steampunk when the series Last Exile was launched in 2003. Not only did it have awesome airship battles I haven’t seen anywhere else since, it also had great Arte Deco-inspired designs by Range Murata. The world was culturally diverse and drew inspiration from multiple cultures and timeperiods, like 1800 and the 1930’s and also included antiquated idea’s on chivalry and feudalism.  This series has a great influence on my own worlds and designs to this day.

Photo, Brainstorm Photographix,
models: RAGTAG and Ebenezer C. Whitford 

Back in 2010 I learned something about myself. It turned out I wasn’t dyslexic. I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), kind of the literal opposite of autism as it is the overstimulation of the right brainhalf, instead of the left one (although it’s more of an hypothesis at this point, not actual science). Dyslexic properties and an inability the respond in highly social environments are a few of the known symptoms. So is an overactive imagination and an ability to turn idea’s into images. I can’t say this was unknown for me, but for the first time I could put one and one together and formulate what was right for me and what wasn’t: like numbers, following protocols or reading.
My logical reason wasn’t because I could follow causality, but my inability the keep consistent thought on certain problems as my mind unconsciously reads or sees something in different ways all the time. Therefor it is hard for me to focus on anything and doubt most of my decisions on every turn. Therefor I like painting and crafting so much as it turns out. Because it forces my mind to focus on one thing while idea’s form on the go.
 ‘Makes kinda sense,’you can say. ‘But didn’t you say you suck at writing?’ Funny thing, the same lifestyle coach that diagnosed me, encouraged me to write stories. So I did start writing fiction. It turned out to be a grueling process as my dyslexia keeps being a problem, but it’s getting better. My inability to focus on something makes it hard to actually finish a story, still a problem. But my brain, that keeps finding solutions for story plots etc. is what keeps me going. It’s a kind of therapy on this point. So if you are grateful that this blog exists, you have my lifestyle coach to thank for that.

So there is the history and psychological reason for my passion.

But there is way more to it. Not only have I succeeded in writing this blog for over three years now, and counting, I have started my own projects while looking for my own way within the genre and it community.  I developed my own alterego’s and their backgrounds, crafted my own masks and other items, turned my home into a décor people look at for inspiration. I thaught myself new skills, got acquainted with new people and learned from them. I inspired other people to pick up the hobby or work towards a common goal. Somethings with no or little success, but somethings it did, like RAG-TAG. While doing this I leaned allot about myself. That there is more potential inside of me than I realized. That I find happiness more important than status or a carrier. But also that I can inspire people and I hope to do so for many years to come. So, when someone now asks me, ‘what do you hope to do in the future,’ my answer is. ‘I hope to work within a team of creative people.’

I’ll stop here. So, please let me know why Steampunk is important to you in the comments below or on facebook.